Kerrang Uk - Christmas 1987
WE TWO KINGS OF METAL ARE
Interview taken by Jason Arnopp
So say JOEY DeMAIO and ERIC ADAMS of MANOWAR - the men who give a whole new meaning to 'putting up a stocking'! JASON ARNOPP is in for a nasty surprise as he finds out just what a King Of Metal gets up to during Yuletide!
We don’t believe in this ‘goodwill to all men' horseshit!"
growls Manowar leader Joey DeMaio, tucking into a festive plate of burgers and fries with his Metal brother, singer Eric Adams.
"Not everyone deserves goodwill”
It may be Christmas, but purveyors ofFalse Metal should still disguise themselves as Jackyl when Manowar are around. They must draw a veil over their wimposity, lest they be struck down by a Black Arrow Of Death. But how do the Metal Kings spend their Yuletide?
"At home with the family,"
Comes the simultaneous reply. But Joey and Eric refuse to specify exactly what "family" means - for no one knows if Manowar are bound by wedlock...
"...And no one ever will!" completes Adams, with a mighty chuckle.
Joey DeMaio leans towards me with a china pot, steely-eyed.
"More tea, brother?"
It is Joey's belief that "God wants us to make girls happy. We give blessings as often as we can! Whenever anyone asks me about the family," he continues with a smirk, "I say, 'Yeah, I tried to start two or three last week! Children? Which country?!'. But its all a laugh. We're notirresponsible people. The AIDS thing has certainly taken the edge off wild social activity - we just kick up a little dust, every now and again."
Crazy scumlords that they are, Manowar like to play little tricks on each other during the season when their Pleasure Slave Bus becomes the Pleasure Sleigh.
Eric: "I remember one year, I crept into Joey's house and left a special present under his tree! Christmas for this guy is a big family affair; aunties, uncles and everyone's there, watching when he opens his presents...My present for him was a big box of rubbers, with a tyre repair kit!"
Joey: "He put on the card, 'In case you have a blow-out’. But my family got a kick out of it. "At this point in the game, they know my mind has gone! There's no sense in tryin' to deny it"
Eric: "So these days, when we're opening our presents, we kinda look carefully to see who they're from! One year, though, Joey really surprised me. He turned up at my house and I figured he was here to party. So I said, 'Come on in, brother, and have a Christmas drink!'. But he said he needed some help outside… So we went out to his car and he had a huge 27-inch tv set that he'd bought me. That was real nice!”
"Well," shrugs the bassist, "He burnt out his other one, watching porno movies! We're not a sexist band, though," he insists. "We're not down on women. We just go down on them! Sexist?”
Lord, no. New Year's Eve is a time of particular fellowship for them. Tradition dictates that they come together in grand chariots from the four corners of New York, and descend on arestaurant with the sole intention of getting "f**ked up".
"We have to get a different restaurant every year!"
laughs Eric, before Joey adds:
"We like to bring the New Year in with a bang, as they say. It’s important to have the right date. Every year I’mwith someone different!"
“Seeing as this is the Christmas issue, I definitely think we should tell people that the ultimate Christmas gift is our new ‘Secrets of Steel Boxed Set’!” Insist Joey, of the band’s recently realised cd/video package.
Eric: “The guys should watch it alone though. They don’t want to watch it with their girlfriend right away.”
Joey: "Awww, shock the hell out of ‘em - why not?! Show 'em what life's really all about – quit f**kin’ around!"
Joey generally describes his worst ever Christmas presents as “Just cheap shit – underwear or wallets that you’d never use”, though Eric vividly recalls his worst gift.
“I love bow hunting, and come deer season I’m the woods all the time. One year, an aunt gave me a tie with ‘deer’ written on it!”
Joey looks amazed.
“What a f**kin’ joke! Where in the f**k would any one were something that totally ridiculous?!”
Uh, hold on, lads. Don’t you tend to wear ridiculous things all the time?
“Well, why don’t you take off your clothes and see what you look like struttin’ around in some of our stuff?!” Joey chuckles. “It’s the same thing with the music – why doesn’t someone get up on stage and try to give us a lesson?!”
Moving quickly on to their best ever gifts, Joey recalls “The night my girlfriend came over, wearing a trench coat and ‘gear’ on underneath it. We’d just finished tour so that was the best Christmas present!”
Eric: ”She was a Play Boy bunny too, from Chicago. He gave another blessing that night!”
Joey: ”She was reborn!”
Manowar want to remove Christmas stockings everywhere. After their December 25 dinner they intend to watch not ‘Ben Hur’ on the Tv, but ‘Debbie does Dallas’. In 1994, they promise to reset a certain Guinness book of Records entry.
“We are building the biggest heavy metal backline in the f**kin’ universe,” assures Joey. “Our messages to Kerrang! Readers, right now, is ‘eat a lot, drink a lot, f**k a lot, spend a lot, and live a lot’ , because we could all be death tomorrow. Merry f**kin’ Metal Christmas”